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HEAVEN
The Waiting Room
Welcome, weary soul. Take a seat, enjoy the ambient harp music, and wait for your number to be called. The wait is eternal, but the chairs are quite comfortable.
Your Number
#8,472,109
Now Serving
#7
About Our Establishment
In the beginning, there was everything. And it was good. Mostly.
The Heaven Waiting Room has been serving souls since time immemorial. Our commitment to excellence, serenity, and reasonable wait times (relatively speaking) has made us the premier destination for the eternal rest experience.
Seven Heavenly Virtues
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Kindness
Like holding the door, but spiritually
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Temperance
Everything in moderation, including everything
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Patience
Essential for the waiting room
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Diligence
The opposite of doom-scrolling
Amenities
Complimentary Cloud Seating
Memory foam upgraded to memory cloud
Ambient Harp Music
On loop since eternity
Golden Gate WiFi
Password: everything
Light Refreshments
Manna and ambrosia available
Restrooms
Not needed, but we have them anyway
Frequently Asked Questions
How long is the wait?
Time is an illusion here, but plan for eternity. The ceiling fans help pass the time.
Is there a Hell section?
Yes, but it's actually quite nice. They have better snacks.
What happens when my number is called?
Everything. Literally everything happens. It's quite overwhelming but in a good way.
Can I bring my rubber ducks?
All rubber ducks are welcome. They float particularly well here.
DIVINE WISDOM
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