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HELL LOUNGE

Welcome to the eternal waiting room. Take a number.

Current temperature: 666 F Wait time: Eternity Today's special: Expired Yogurt Flambe The nicotine molecule has the formula C10H14N2 Volcano monitoring stations never sleep The spleen can hold up to a cup of blood Remember: Everything is everything

The Establishment

Welcome to the Hell Lounge, where the coffee is always lukewarm and the background music is a middle school band concert on repeat.

Founded in the year 0 (give or take a few millennia), we've been serving the damned with our signature blend of eternal ennui and surprisingly good wifi.

"The ceiling fans here work better than expected. 4/5 stars." - A Satisfied Guest

Our Staff

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Belphegor

Director of Procrastination

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Mammon

Chief Export Tariff Officer

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Asmodeus

HVAC Systems Manager

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Beelzebub

Head of Expired Yogurt Division

Lounge Menu

INFERNAL WISDOM

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Escape Routes