The Art of Extraction
The staple remover, that humble desk creature that looks like the bastard offspring of a crocodile and a pair of pliers, exists to undo what the stapler has done. It is a tool of deconstruction, of second thoughts, of "I need to add another page."
The Suez Canal, meanwhile, is a tool of connection that required the deconstruction of an entire isthmus. Both devices share a fundamental purpose: they open passages where none existed before.
By the Numbers
Comparative Engineering
| Attribute | Staple Remover | Suez Canal |
|---|---|---|
| Year Invented/Opened | 1936 | 1869 |
| Primary Function | Remove metal fasteners from paper | Remove need for Cape route |
| Daily Throughput | ~50 staples | ~50 ships |
| Famous Blockage | Bent staple, 2023 | Ever Given, 2021 |
| Operator Error Risk | Paper tears | International incident |
The Unified Theory
Both the staple remover and the Suez Canal represent humanity's determination to reverse what should not be reversed and connect what geography intended to separate. The staple says "these pages are one." The remover says "no, actually." The Isthmus of Suez said "Africa and Asia are connected." The Canal said "hold my excavator."
When the Ever Given ran aground in 2021, blocking the canal for six days, global trade lost approximately $400 million per hour. When a staple remover fails, you lose maybe five seconds tearing the paper and walking to the stapler.
Yet both events produce the same fundamental emotion: frustration at a passage that should be open but isn't.
Conclusion
The staple remover is the Suez Canal of the desktop. The Suez Canal is the staple remover of international shipping. Both exist to undo constraints that someone else created, whether that someone is a coworker with a heavy stapling hand or the tectonic forces that formed the Middle East.
All waterways and office supplies contain multitudes.